What do Nokia’s Vertu phones and Ferraris have in common? Well, both are generally bought by people with far too much money and/or the desire to compensate for something. If you fall into either of those brackets, happy days - a new Ferrari/Vertu collabo is here!

What do Nokia’s Vertu phones and Ferraris have in common? Well, both are generally bought by people with far too much money and/or the desire to compensate for something. If you fall into either of those brackets, happy days - a new Ferrari/Vertu collabo is here!

As you’d expect from a blower that’ll cane your bank balance to the tune of €18,000 (yep, about £12,500), the Ascent Ferrari 60 comes with gonad-rupturingly quick HSDPA, an amazing iPhone-killing touchscreen and - er, hang on, that’s the other one. This one comes with the best part of naff all on the tech front, just a glossy metal and leather exterior that all your posh mates will admire and adore.

On the plus side, Vertu got its hands on the Ferrari spares bin, nabbing a few boxes of screws and some leather offcuts we’re assured really do appear on the cars. Of course they do.

If that’s not enough though, we’re sure you’ll be impressed by the miniature gearshift gate on the back. We were, for about 10 seconds. Give it its due though, the Vertu isn’t all about spending a disgusting amount of money on a phone that doesn’t do much. See, every Vertu comes with one-button access to one of the most superior concierge services on the planet. Anything you want, they can make it happen. T3 magazine put the service to the test a while back and pretty much everything they could throw at it, the Vertu concierge was able to solve. Even getting Ricky Gervais to come and do a David Brent style dance (£7k). Genius.

We’re also assured it comes in a lovely box with an F1 valve and a Bluetooth headset. Righto, Nokia, you’ve sold it to us: we’re off to remortgage the flat.