Yesterday we met a bunch of guys who's job it is to break phones. Kevin Smith and Robert Johnson, who work at Nokia's relability labs in Nokia's UK HQ reckon if they don't break phones, they're not doing their job properly. Sounds easy doesn't it. After all, I don't seem to have much trouble killing mine (though I have to admit, it's been a while since I've had one collapse completely). But no, these guys do it the sophisticated way. They have machines that can press a keypad 1 million times, a device made of denim that spins around to simulate the way we (or at least I) rub my phone's screen on my jeans to clean it. They have even cracked the hardest one of all - an abrasion test to simulate the inside of a woman's handbag. And no, I didn't put my hand inside.
The tests are as varied as they are extreme. Take temperature. I never knew Nokias are designed to work in temperature extremes between minus 40 and plus 80 degrees centigrade. Or that they could withstand sustained exposure to 95% humidity (think steam room with the steam dialed right up).
About 20 miles South West of London there are about 30 people who spend their time hammering phones and then analyising the results. Their mission isn't just to kill the phones, but to work with the designers to identify weaknesses which can then be rectified before the product goes on sale. The centre is just one of 11 around the world and they all have one thing in common - pushing phones to their limits. Over 200 types of tests take place and it all starts from when the phone is first conceived (the first tests are virtual ones and happen on a computer). It isn't just phones which get tested either. Specific components get a hammering too and testing continues after the phone has gone on sale.
Kevin and Robert highlight the drop test, and how difficult it was to ensure a digital camera still worked in a phone after it had been dropped. Even digital camera manufacturers don't typically do that. This isn't all about robotics and precise tests though. The boys try to capture a phone in real life, all the while monitoring its reliability and recording its progress. Each test, whether done by a human or a machine, is designed to simulate what happens to a phone in a real life scenario. And it's thorough too. For a single model up to 2,000 devices could be destroyed in testing.
There used to be a guy called Stan who worked in the labs. When he retired he was replaced by a robot nicknamed "RoboStan". Soon though the team realised RoboStan couldn't quite replicate the way real people plugged cables in and out of phones so they replaced it with a real person. That insertion tester now spends his time trying to cack-hand cables into devices, replicating the way I, sorry, real people, clumsily plug stuff in and out.
Some tests are designed to check mechanical components, such as keypads which can be pressed up to a million times in a test. Others are designed to test surface wear and tear, such as the abrasion test which simulates the joy your phone feels when in the company of things like keys and coins. According to Robert, a lady's handbag is one of the most challenging environments facing a phone. And I couldn't agree more. It's a hostile place for me, whatever about my phone!
We also saw phones being decimated, like the twist test which simulated what happens when people get too engrossed in their games. Or the 3 point bend, which without sounding painful enough on its own, actually represents what happens when a man of about 15-stone sits on a hard chair with his phone in his back pocket (desperately resisting arse jokes here...).
Breaking stuff is only half the story though. When stuff stops working, they need to find out why. Which is why there's a whole lab dedicated to scanning, xraying and observing components. They even have a scanning electron microscope (the kind where you can examine a human hair in full blown up detail) which uses liquid nitrogen to clean the air before scanning (to get rid of impurities). Well, how else can you find a microscopic crack?
Over the last few years I think I have found my Nokia's harder and harder to break. Sure, I can mistreat them and none of them look pretty after a few months in my care, but the one trait they all share is that they all still work. Now I know why.
As for the 26 reasons. Click on the gallery below to find out what they are.
